Things I heard this week...

I frequently hear things that even out of context, I think are hilarious. Here are a couple from the last day or two. Hopefully they will provide a few LOL's for you.

"No, I am pretty sure that doesn't cause liver damage." {phone hangs up}
"Was that your mom?"
"Yes."
"What is she worried about causing liver damage?"
"Spray tans."
"Oh."

"Maybe we should call South America and see if their average temperatures are off too. Because if they are, then we will know that the earth is improperly tilted on its axis."

"You know, you are walking the path to shame." {A seven year old to his babysitter.}
"Yeah, that's a walk I am all too familiar with."

Another Amazing Discovery aka Similarities Between God and Santa

Everyday I think about God. In fact, He and I chat at great length, daily. One night I was visualizing what I think my God "looks like". I envision him to be an older man with a beard. He doesn't wear flowing robes but something like loose fitting linen clothes that would billow in a summer breeze. I often think of Him, standing or sitting on a vast porch looking out over the plain and thinking to Himself, about me of course, "She'll be back." This is when I may be in less frequent contact with Him. Then I thought, He might be something like Santa in the off season. Just hanging out, relaxing and keeping an eye on things, so to speak. Then I thought about that a little more and started to realize all of the similarities between God and Santa. Here are some of them.
1. In most traditional portrayals, they both have a beard.
2. They both know when you are good and/or bad.
3. They are both very forgiving as long as you recognize your mistakes.
4. They both give gifts.
5. Jesus's Birthday = Big Day
6. They both have a lot of helpers.
7. As a Christian child, you are taught to believe in both.
8. As you age your belief in both may wain or go away altogether.
9. As you age even more, your belief probably comes back, even if only for a moment.
10. If you really believe in both, they will deliver.
Its not too crazy, is it. God. Santa. Just something to think about.

Imitation Crab Meat is the Hot Dog of Seafood

It's totally true. Don't deny that you have eaten it, either. If you have ever eaten sushi from the grocery store, you have eaten it. It you have ever eaten Senational Seafood Salad (sidebar: name couldn't be more fitting because it is truly sensational), then you have eaten it. If you have ever eaten anything where one of the ingredients was listed as "crab stick", then you have eaten it. You don't have to be afraid to admit that you like it. Just like hotdogs. Who doesn't like hotdogs? I mean seriously. You might be morally and ethically opposed to hotdogs claiming that you will not eat them solely based on principal, but you love them. And just as hotdogs are made up of everything from the rooter to the tooter; all the pieces and parts and part and pieces that have no other use; so is the imitation crab meat. Read the label. Here are some of the ingredients. Monk Fish. Really? Monk Fish is commonly known as "the poor man's lobster". Whatev. Pollock. Not like Jackson. Sometimes called Alaskan Cod. Fancy. And any other kind of mild white fish that cannot stand on its own merit. Interesting (or not).

You may wonder why I am blogging about this and why it may or may not be an LOL in my life. I can't answer that other than it was a slow week and I thought it an amazing discovery when I realized that imitation crab is the hot dog of seafood. I don't know. I just never heard anybody make that reference before.

True story.

This one might qualify for a Heather Way World Record. Cue the music.....

What's wrong with cereal for dinner? Seriously. It's not as if we're eating Count Chocula.

is wildly successful in some areas and failing miserably in others. Big Sigh.

OMG....I am over connected and over stimulated. Uh...ohhhh.