This one might qualify for a Heather Way World Record. Cue the music.....

What's wrong with cereal for dinner? Seriously. It's not as if we're eating Count Chocula.

is wildly successful in some areas and failing miserably in others. Big Sigh.

OMG....I am over connected and over stimulated. Uh...ohhhh.

Here is where you type into google your first name then the word "needs" and you get your fortune told. Let's see what we have for today, shall we?

1. Heather needs 2 therapists....(That hasn't worked out so well so far.)
2. Heather needs something to be more satisfied....(No truer statement. Maybe a Snickers?)
3. Heather needs a childhood....(That could send us back to number 1.)
4. Heather needs to be herself....(Pretty much doing that.)
5. Heather needs help....(Need more specification-is that a word?)
6. Heather needs men....(Indeedy but doesn't mean I'm needy!)
7. Heather needs Facebook....(I SWEAR I did not make that one up).
8. Heather needs sex help....(Intersting. Maybe some folks from number 6 could shed some light on this one. )
9. Heather needs some body guards....(There have been times when at least "a handler" has proved useful.)
10. Heather needs a bigger cup....(Yeah she does or did.)

BK 2.0

Look at this thing! You just know its going to be a problem. That lovely gooeyness can't help but stick to our favorite utensil...The Butter Knife. And you KNOW you want to LICK IT when it does. But guess what, my previous post helped prevent public humiliation. That's right. Butter Knives: What Not to do with Them (AKA: BK 1.0) has served the greater good.

Shamus Mc. had this to say about BK 1.0: I was recently out to dinner with my mom and my new love interest, Rhys. We ordered Baked Goat Cheese as an appetizer. I LOVE BAKED GOAT CHEESE. To the point of obsession. Like, I really love it. A. Lot. (Jeez, we get the point already. You love goat cheese. Baked.) I cut into the goat cheese and as I pulled out the butter knife, so much of the goat cheese was stuck to the blade. I looked at it in utter lust. I wanted to lick that knife so bad I could taste it, but I read your damn post. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't. I knew it was wrong. I knew it was wrong like moral wrongs are ingrained in you as a young child. And you know what happened: RHYS LICKED IT! And we broke up after dinner.

True Story.