Imitation Crab Meat is the Hot Dog of Seafood

It's totally true. Don't deny that you have eaten it, either. If you have ever eaten sushi from the grocery store, you have eaten it. It you have ever eaten Senational Seafood Salad (sidebar: name couldn't be more fitting because it is truly sensational), then you have eaten it. If you have ever eaten anything where one of the ingredients was listed as "crab stick", then you have eaten it. You don't have to be afraid to admit that you like it. Just like hotdogs. Who doesn't like hotdogs? I mean seriously. You might be morally and ethically opposed to hotdogs claiming that you will not eat them solely based on principal, but you love them. And just as hotdogs are made up of everything from the rooter to the tooter; all the pieces and parts and part and pieces that have no other use; so is the imitation crab meat. Read the label. Here are some of the ingredients. Monk Fish. Really? Monk Fish is commonly known as "the poor man's lobster". Whatev. Pollock. Not like Jackson. Sometimes called Alaskan Cod. Fancy. And any other kind of mild white fish that cannot stand on its own merit. Interesting (or not).

You may wonder why I am blogging about this and why it may or may not be an LOL in my life. I can't answer that other than it was a slow week and I thought it an amazing discovery when I realized that imitation crab is the hot dog of seafood. I don't know. I just never heard anybody make that reference before.

True story.

This one might qualify for a Heather Way World Record. Cue the music.....

What's wrong with cereal for dinner? Seriously. It's not as if we're eating Count Chocula.

is wildly successful in some areas and failing miserably in others. Big Sigh.

OMG....I am over connected and over stimulated. Uh...ohhhh.

Here is where you type into google your first name then the word "needs" and you get your fortune told. Let's see what we have for today, shall we?

1. Heather needs 2 therapists....(That hasn't worked out so well so far.)
2. Heather needs something to be more satisfied....(No truer statement. Maybe a Snickers?)
3. Heather needs a childhood....(That could send us back to number 1.)
4. Heather needs to be herself....(Pretty much doing that.)
5. Heather needs help....(Need more specification-is that a word?)
6. Heather needs men....(Indeedy but doesn't mean I'm needy!)
7. Heather needs Facebook....(I SWEAR I did not make that one up).
8. Heather needs sex help....(Intersting. Maybe some folks from number 6 could shed some light on this one. )
9. Heather needs some body guards....(There have been times when at least "a handler" has proved useful.)
10. Heather needs a bigger cup....(Yeah she does or did.)

BK 2.0

Look at this thing! You just know its going to be a problem. That lovely gooeyness can't help but stick to our favorite utensil...The Butter Knife. And you KNOW you want to LICK IT when it does. But guess what, my previous post helped prevent public humiliation. That's right. Butter Knives: What Not to do with Them (AKA: BK 1.0) has served the greater good.

Shamus Mc. had this to say about BK 1.0: I was recently out to dinner with my mom and my new love interest, Rhys. We ordered Baked Goat Cheese as an appetizer. I LOVE BAKED GOAT CHEESE. To the point of obsession. Like, I really love it. A. Lot. (Jeez, we get the point already. You love goat cheese. Baked.) I cut into the goat cheese and as I pulled out the butter knife, so much of the goat cheese was stuck to the blade. I looked at it in utter lust. I wanted to lick that knife so bad I could taste it, but I read your damn post. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't. I knew it was wrong. I knew it was wrong like moral wrongs are ingrained in you as a young child. And you know what happened: RHYS LICKED IT! And we broke up after dinner.

True Story.